73 notes
(via texburgher)
If this is a joke, it’s hilarious.
If it’s not a joke, it’s hilariouser.
If hilariouser is not a real word, then I think it should be.
If that’s okay with you.
I mean, I guess if you’ve just decided by fiat that hilariouser is not a real word, then that’ll just have to be okay with me, won’t it? Is that how this works?
Not that I’m addressing this woman. Or her toot. Or you. Or even the problem of fake words. Because I’m not. I’m just saying.
Because, really—and I say this with all sincerity—you should do whatever makes you happy.
And, if that happens to include drinking my last Diet Coke (again) and leaving the toilet seat up (again) and continually using my nice expensive Fiskars sewing scissors for your weird collages (again) and then never putting them back in the top drawer between my cat’s medicine and the pack of AAA batteries you seem to think I never notice you take and that I very politely reminded you in several very polite notes to please, PLEASE! PLEASE!!!! stop doing: then, yes, I guess all of that will just have to be okay with me, won’t it?
Yes. I guess it will. I guess that’s just my problem now. And that’s fine.
Whatever.
Not that I’m talking to you. Because I’m not. I’m just saying.
Anyway. I agree. I agree in spirit with everything you’re saying. Do you hear me? I agree.
Because, nobody likes passive-aggression.
Is that okay that I agree with you?
Okay, good. I’m glad. I’m really really really glad.
Not that I’m talking to you. Because I’m not.
I’m just saying.
I am, literally, just saying.
If that’s okay with you.
If I could construct a model of what, syntactically, semantically, and prosodically makes a sentence passive aggressive, I would be a rich genius. Oh I guess also in this scenario I’m rich.
Notes
Currently I’m looking into options for a project disseminating public health information in minority languages on O’ahu. Clearly I have to take a page from the Telugu community, or the state of Andhra Pradesh, or whoever the geniuses were here.
0 notes
TSA Supervisor: You know who did 9/11?
George: Osama bin Laden.
TSA Supervisor: Do you know what language he spoke?
George: Arabic.
From the >questioning of Nicholas George, the student who was arrested and detained by federal agents at the Philadelphia airport for his possession of Arabic language flashcards.
Yes, Osama bin Laden is one of half a billion people who speak Arabic as a first or second language. Way to go guys.
969 notes
Simplicity
43 Simple Ways To Simplify Your Life
- Remove your doors
- Eat half of each pet
- Sit on a big, thick book
- Something something keyring holder
- Paint clocks cheery pink
- Wear discarded food
- Makebelieve girlfriend chair
- Sleep in liquor cabinet
- Embrace hug love hug meow meow
- Small room to plan crimes
- Hack your house key organizer
- Mail a surprise toaster
- Just stare more
- Fourteen
- Poke holes in paper things
- Macrame shoelace tree
- Scrapbook poop and pee
- Euthanize even faster
- Amputate favorite limb
- Pencil shaving gallery
- Immigrant coat rack
- Shoebox of dangerous porn
- Zen unicorn rainbow zen journal
- Icepick to one good eye
- Simplify fourteen harder
- Aluminum foil swan cozy dryer
- Smell your finger. All of it.
- Resimplify your simplicity
- Habitualize your zen
- Remind your drapes, “I love you, Mrs. Textile”
- Freeze your clutter
- Couch fort dinner party
- Nicene creed robot
- Only sodomize things that forgive
- Coaxial sweater vest
- Transitive verb predicate clause
- More crying but quieter
- Inhaler nativity
- Contact paper taxonomy binder
- America’s Roast Beef: Yes, Sir
- Breathe like no one’s dancing
- Unbridled solo diaper play
- Illuminated panty shrine
[via]
Merlin is of course very clever but let’s look at this bullshit he’s sending up:
5. Create a weekly meal plan.
I can’t really say that this sounds like a BAD idea at all, in fact it seems like a great way to keep yourself eating healthy if you can stick to it. But It is really, really not simpler than just eating well.
37. Start a gratitude journal.
Fucking seriously. Start writing down everything you’re grateful for. Carry around a book so you’ve got some place to do it. That’ll really clear out the clutter in your life. And of course the very best:
14. Just say no.
There, what fantastic, marvelous advice. Just say no. To what, you might ask? Drugs? Peer pressure? Just everything? This could have been expounded upon, but I suppose it would have complicated the author’s life.
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The Vedda Language
“The Vedda language is an extinct language that was spoken by the Vedda people.
…
Total speakers [based on 1993 estimate]: 300.”
An unexpected hurdle in the quest to define language extinction.
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So many little people. Pet them on the head. pet pet pet pet pet….From Sleep Talkin’ Man, possibly my new favorite blog and an almost endless source of fantastic turns of phrase. Sleeping adults say the darndest things!
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South Asia Summer Language Institute
Applied to these guys today. Wanted to apply for Sinhala program but as it is usually cancelled due to low enrollment, I went safer and applied for Tamil. That would be a nice thing to do with my summer. What better place to learn Tamil than Madison, WI, right?
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Here I will put my thoughts on language and languages.
मैं यहाँ भाषे और भाषाविज्ञान के बारे में लिख रहा हूँ |
Je vais écrir au sujet des langues ici.
Mi cxi tie skribos miajn pensojn koncerne kaj lingvoj kaj lingvistikoj.
Dyma fy ngheudod o ddeutu iaithiau a ieithyddiaeth.
